MEET MARIA: From Distressed Recovering Addict to Money Manifesting Artist
Maria's recovery journey has been a rollercoaster, marked by challenges and obstacles. Despite her efforts, she struggled to improve. Maria suffered from issues with food, work-related stress, intense back pain, and night terrors. After seeking help from top psychiatrists and doctors and going through years of therapy, she made little progress. Finally, she discovered the Ketamine Lounge, where she would partake in over 15 Ketamine sessions that consequently changed the trajectory of her life.
So Maria, tell us a little about yourself.
I'm a Miami native and a first-generation American from Cuban immigrants. In 1997, I moved to New York City. A pertinent part of my story is that I'm a September 11th survivor. I lived a couple of blocks away from there, and in retrospect, it was a defining moment in my life in that I survived such a tragedy. I stayed in New York until 2007, then moved back to Miami because I was recovering from addiction issues.
I’m glad you’re here to share your story with us today. How did being a survivor of 9/11 have an impact on your addiction?
That situation blessedly and gratefully exacerbated my addiction to a level that required hospitalization and rehab. In September 2001, 20 days after September 11th, I was picked up and taken to my first rehab in New York. That’s when I entered the beautiful world of recovery and the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. So I’ve been on a recovery journey since then. Granted, I'm not a “one-chip wonder,” as some would say– I've been the kind of person that would get five years sober and then relapse. Fortunately, because of everything I've learned from recovery, I've always been able to catch myself early in the relapse to get myself into treatment.
At what point in your recovery did you find Ketamine?
I’d actually already heard about Ketamine in the 1990s, but I’d never heard of it used in a therapeutic setting. I had read about it a couple of times, and I also live right next door to where the Microdose Wonderland conference takes place, which made my “little antennas” go up. I never bought a ticket because of my sobriety– we’re always taught in recovery that you don't use, no matter what. So for me, it was a nice thought, but I would always cut off the desire to explore that avenue.
However, life put me in different situations in April 2020. I'm a corporate real estate executive where the work was stressful, to say the least. I had what you would call a nervous breakdown. I just collapsed physically, mentally, and emotionally from the strain of it all. I ended up again in rehab and started taking Xanax, which isn’t something you’re supposed to do. I knew I was in trouble, so I took medical leave.
That began a journey of me being treated for over a year and a half at different places. You can imagine the high-quality recovery and therapy I’d been getting for years. I had become fully aware of the source of my traumas– the when, what, and why but I wasn’t getting any better. There were obstacles I could not surmount no matter what I did for myself. I believe I was resigned to not living my life to the fullest. I had a lot of issues with food. I weighed 206 pounds. My back was just full of knots. At the time, I was also suffering from night terrors for several years. I went to the best psychiatrist and sleep doctors, but nobody could help me.
Finally, I was going to have back surgery when I told the spine doctor that I couldn't take pain medication because of my addiction issues. He then referred me to Tristar Wellness for pain management and addiction. I started doing conventional treatment and would always come back and see the lounge. I remember one time somebody opened the lounge door, and I saw them walk out, and they smiled. I saw people walking out with this joy in them, like this inner joy. I thought to myself, “I want that. What's going on here? Is this like a secret club?” I decided to go for it; that first session changed my life. There was such beauty. There was such joy. I felt so much love, kindness, wonder, and excitement.
“I saw people walking out with this joy in them, like this inner joy. I thought to myself, “I want that. What's going on here? Is this like a secret club?” I decided to go for it; that session changed my life.”
How would you describe your first experience with Ketamine?
My soul was traveling through different dimensions. I’m a painter, and paints began to appear as the ocean in different colors. I felt like a little kid in a candy store going through these swirls of paint that were also portals. It's been a life changer. There's so much to say. I've become a better person because I've understood kindness. I was able to feel love and understand what it takes for another person to feel loved. I realized all trauma, injury, and addictions come from this bottom first base need to be loved, accepted, and cared for. Having a safe place to land and understand this, I can provide that to the people I love.
“I realized all trauma, injury, and addictions come from this bottom first base need to be loved, accepted, and cared for. Having a safe place to land and understand this, I can provide that to the people I love.”
Wow, that’s an incredible realization. In what ways has your experience changed your relationships?
I was able to understand what generational trauma is. I see that we're all products of dysfunction and that it's nobody's fault. I believe we're born with love. We're a ball of love when we're that baby in the embryo. So when we're born, we feel love. Everything that's around us we associate it with love. So if you're this ball of love and you're getting abused, you begin to associate that with love because you’re love, and you go into the world with that. You enter with this deep-rooted feeling that abuse is love on some subconscious level. Seeing this helps me understand that everybody behaves from that space in this world–– that we’re all just products of our family’s origins of trauma. I feel blessed to be alive in a time when we're the first generation to understand this and have the responsibility to change it, and I live from this embodiment now.
“Ketamine takes it to the guttural, emotional, and soul levels, allowing you to understand and correlate with yourself, your ancestors, future family, friends, and strangers.”
I thought I lived like that before, but knowledge is knowledge, and as we say in 12 steps, self-knowledge has availed us nothing. Now, I feel where these emotions came from. I've learned to sit with the emotion, talk to it, commune with it, and get through it. I realized I am not my emotions. For me, this was just revolutionary. Ketamine takes it to the guttural, emotional, and soul levels, allowing you to understand and correlate with yourself, your ancestors, future family, friends, and strangers.
Absolutely. You previously mentioned that you're an artist and would see paintings in your sessions. How have those sessions influenced your work as a creative?
Well, I’ve always been creatively minded. I’m blessed with parents who were into different manifestation techniques from a young age. These techniques got passed down to me through old cassette tapes, courses, books, etc. Even though I had done 30 years of work on myself, there were still barriers I could not break down, and I struggled financially. However, during my Ketamine sessions, I implemented the old techniques I learned, except they were much more effective. I combined the power of Ketamine and my previous training. In these meditations, I learned from my parents I would astral project and use the law of attraction. In the Ketamine sessions, I started visualizing and manifesting things that I felt would benefit me, like artwork. Since the sessions, my financial situation has changed. I have pictured art projects that are now coming to fruition that were all conceived during my Ketamine sessions. One of the paintings I foresaw in my Ketamine Sessions was a painting of Jesus Christ wearing a crown made of thorns. That same painting is entering auction this week, where the starting bid is $10,000.
Congratulations. That’s a massive achievement. What other significant changes have you seen since trying Ketamine?
I had lost about 20 pounds by my fourth Ketamine session. Before, I just ate junk, but after, I began to see food differently. I felt this energy from food. I’d look at the vegetables, which were so beautiful– the oranges, red peppers, bananas, juices, watermelons, and tomatoes. I'd walk by them, and they're beckoning to me. At that moment, I had an epiphany. If I want to feel the same joy in a Ketamine session, I need to consume these foods with the same energy as the psychedelic. It felt like they were giving me this message. I realized that these plants would bring it all together for me to have the life I wanted. I started buying living foods, like fruits and vegetables. It was groundbreaking. I finally saw the mind-body connection that I wasn’t taught in the years I spent working with doctors and rehabs.
“I see this as a spiritual experience. A way that I can commune with God”
That’s very powerful. Ketamine seems to have had a significant influence on your recovery. How have psychedelics fit into your pre-existing sober lifestyle and the AA Program?
I found an organization called Psychedelics and Recovery, a 12-step program for people who want to elevate their spiritual practice and have a better connection with a higher power. As a practice, when I start my Ketamine session, I usually say the third step prayer. I see this as a spiritual experience. A way that I can commune with God, and I have a strict protocol for myself. I make sure that I have a ritual or routine that I stick to. The 12 steps are a guide to having a spiritual awakening, and when you have a spiritual awakening, you can be happy, joyous, accessible, and sober. I am in recovery. I'm sober, and also, yes, I take Ketamine. The two can co-exist.
"God, I offer myself to Thee - to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!" - Third Step Prayer in the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous
Is there anything you wish others knew about Ketamine?
I feel it's a huge catalyst for change to heal generational trauma. As humans, I feel we're at about 5% of our capabilities. We have medicine that can heal us.
If you had one word to describe your Ketamine experience, what would it be?
The celestial aphrodisiac.
If you connected with the above write-up, are curious, and need some guidance, psychedelic medicines such as Ketamine can support this healing process, self-discovery, and purpose. Click below to find out more.
Author: Bre Jenkins
Bre Jenkins, a certified health coach, previously worked in mainstream wellness before shifting her focus to energy healing and psychedelic medicine to support deep healing and personal expansion. She is certified in Reiki levels 1, 2, and 3, as well as Inner Dance and Psychedelic Integration. Her work has been featured in major publications, and she is also a significant voice in the psychedelics space, contributing to renowned psychedelic companies such as Doubleblind Mag, Third Wave, The Ancestor Project, and more.