MEET DAN: From Severe Depression to Spiritual Connection.
Dan is a 35-year-old businessman who lives in Miami, Florida. He found Ketamine through research when looking for alternative options for treating his depression. Dan started working with Ketamine and Psilocybin but found that Ketamine worked better for him with his current medications. After undergoing 20 Ketamine sessions, he feels that Ketamine has helped open himself up spiritually. Ketamine offered Dan a way to make meaning and reduced his need for perfection. Dan has migrated from a perfectionist, achiever state to a surrendered and growth-oriented mindset. He describes his experience with Ketamine as a time of self-exploration and discovery.
So Dan, What led you to Ketamine Treatment?
Well, the doctors diagnosed me as major depressive. So, I go through these cycles where I have maybe three months of feeling good and then three months of being "out of whack." This back-and-forth emotional wheel had been spinning for quite some time. That began my search for other avenues in self-help and treatment for depression. I came across Ketamine, and through my research, I became curious as I had already become accustomed to the classic approaches, like antidepressants, and I was looking for something more.
So, you tried both Psilocybin and Ketamine for treatment-resistant depression?
Yes, but there were some contraindications with psilocybin based on some of my antidepressant medications. So, I don't think that it works as well for me as Ketamine has. So, I stopped working with psilocybin and continued my treatment with Ketamine.
“I had already become accustomed to the classic approaches, like antidepressants, and I was looking for something more.”
With that, did you have any reservations about Ketamine treatment?
I'm sure we all practice vigilance when we're researching something we will put in our bodies. There was a stigma of these different "drug" types, so I was cautious. Still, I wasn't scared either because where I was at with my depressive state, I was just willing to try something new, and I was happy to know that, at the very least, I was exercising my options.
What did you know about Ketamine before your research?
I knew about "off-label" use. I just learned of it as a party drug, but immediately, I was thinking, "How could this be something that helps my mental health?" and clearly, I was proven wrong.
“I was happy to know that, at the very least, I was exercising my options.”
Did you have any expectations going into your first experience?
No, I was flexible about it. I didn't feel scared or anything. The setting helped create that. Knowing that there were medical professionals nearby and I was in a professional office created a sense of ease in my comfort levels. I was more open to seeing what happened and whether it could work for me.
What was your spiritual connection like before Ketamine?
Before the sessions, I felt more reduced on a spiritual level. While researching alternative therapies, I became more open to new types of concepts and meanings. I couldn't say if it were just after the first session or if it happened before, but I know I was looking for more purpose, which sparked this inward journey.
Did you have any visuals or insights during your experience during my experience?
I'd have visuals of the people in my life, the connections there, and the potential of those connections. There's a lot of positive energy around, and I felt a significant reduction in my stress levels. It was almost as if you take a cluttered room, and the gravity gets stripped, and everything's floating, and you can slowly manipulate the items–– remove them entirely or move them to the side. Ketamine takes the literal weight of those things that are causing stress so you can more freely interact with them.
“There's a lot of positive energy around, and I felt a significant reduction in my stress levels.”
How did Ketamine impact your depression?
It was like a domino effect in terms of my depression. It mainly helped me with this spiritual understanding, and then, from there, it helped me rediscover meaning, which then, in turn, helped lower my depression.
What would you say supported you the most during your treatment?
Going into it with a relaxed mindset was helpful. After my first few sessions, I didn’t feel like I had to be in control or gripping the steering wheel. That approach must take place for you to experience the medicine fully. The music spoke to me as well. Between the music, the zero gravity chair, and the blindfold, the setting ushered a perfect combination for getting the most out of my sessions. It allowed me to be focused and present.
You've had over 20 sessions. How have your Ketamine sessions evolved?
It's been a growing experience of comfort and confidence that's evolved throughout the sessions. Going back to the gripping on the steering wheel, I guess you could say that it was reduced significantly to a cruise control not just in the Ketamine sessions but also in my daily life.
“It's been a growing experience of comfort and confidence that's evolved throughout the sessions.”
How has being on "cruise control" helped you?
I feel a reduced need for perfection that allows me a level of freedom to operate in a manner that I, deep down inside, wanted to, instead of always needing to appease others. My control was most certainly tied to the idea of perfection, wanting to get the result in the best or quickest way possible. I've learned that a high stress level comes with that mentality, and it's just not sustainable or achievable. The combination of therapy and Ketamine has certainly impacted how I choose to steer my life.
How has your spiritual connection evolved?
I've become married to the idea that he or she who created this is putting what I need before me and providing an opportunity to grow, whether I feel happy or sad. Now, I'm okay with either of those feelings. Preferably, a comfortable situation is easy to manage, but I see the lessons are in those uncomfortable situations. I'm not very religious, but I believe in a higher power and in knowing that I'm being given what I need at the time, whether it's what I want or not. Now, I'm not wearing yoga pants and watching the sunrise every morning–– I'm just not at that level, but I'm certainly more easygoing, I would say.
“The combination of therapy and Ketamine has certainly impacted how I choose to steer my life.”
So, you moved from this perfectionist, achiever-state to surrendered and growth-oriented.
Definitely, and I appreciated more in my life in many ways. Funny enough, I began producing more things for myself and experiencing more achievements, and it's done in the way that I genuinely want to operate. These motivational speakers tell us, "You gotta wake up the first thing in the morning!" and "You gotta be the last one to go to bed!". All of this,
“You gotta, you gotta, you gotta…". I think that stuff is good and can be applied, but I just had to learn a level of balance, and it's worth understanding that, knowing that at some point, I'm going to mess up, and that's okay.
What has shifted in your day-to-day existence?
I have a greater level of love for myself. I had become in a default mode of stress, and when situations didn't even call for it, it was there. So, have my activities significantly changed? No, but how they're done psychologically is, and certainly has changed dramatically.
That's great to hear, Dan. Last question for you–– If you had one word to describe your Ketamine experience, what would it be?
Exploratory.
"You gotta get out there. I'm not saying that will be the one for you, but exploring will get you where you want to be."
Dan has created even more meaning during his treatment and has begun using art as a way for him to continue his journey of self-exploration.
If you connected with the above write-up, are curious, and need some guidance, psychedelic medicines such as Ketamine can support this healing process, self-discovery, and purpose. Click below to find out more.
Author: Bre Jenkins
Bre Jenkins, a certified health coach, previously worked in mainstream wellness before shifting her focus to energy healing and psychedelic medicine to support deep healing and personal expansion. She is certified in Reiki levels 1, 2, and 3, as well as Inner Dance and Psychedelic Integration. Her work has been featured in major publications, and she is also a significant voice in the psychedelics space, contributing to renowned psychedelic companies such as Doubleblind Mag, Third Wave, The Ancestor Project, and more.